Polysexual | Meaning, Definition & Wiki

Polysexual Overview

A polysexual person is somebody who has sexual and/or romantic feelings for people of both male and female genders.

This is not the same as being bisexual or pansexual, while both of these sexualities include being attracted to more than one gender.

It is also not synonymous with polyamory.

Synonyms

Multisexuality and plurisexuality are other words for polysexuality.

Some persons may identify as non-monosexual, but other polysexual people are opposed to the word. They would rather avoid being described by what they are not than describe who they are.

Polysexual Women Couple
Polysexual Women Couple

How to Specify Polysexuality

Polysexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality are all sexual orientations that indicate an individual has feelings for at least two genders. Bisexual people are sexually attracted to people of their own gender as well as at least one other gender. Pansexuals do not recognize gender when developing feelings of attraction.

Pomosexuals tend to avoid traditional sexual orientation definitions, even those that include gender at all.

Read Abrosexual

Polysexual, Pansexual and Bisexual Overview

“This section is written by a bisexual herself”

Here we’ll discuss bisexuality. In this article, I talk about the definition of bisexual and some of the other labels used to describe those attracted to more than one gender. I’ll talk about bisexual erasure and invisibility, the struggles of flirting, and how awesome the bi community is. There is a lot of discussion over the correct definition of ‘bisexual’.

There’s still a common misconception that there are only two genders and therefore that bisexuality is the attraction to both men and women. But this negates the existence of all the other genders which I’ll talk more about in another article dedicated to bisexuality.

An updated definition is that bisexual is the attraction to both one’s own and other genders.

This definition is far more inclusive and increasingly what people mean when they identify as bi. Neither of these definitions indicates “how bi” someone is though. Are they equally attracted to the full range of genders or do they have a gender preference? Are they more bicurious or are they fully bisexual?

In this section, I use the cloves vs clothes story to indicate how easy it is for two people to fall into conflict when they’re unaware they’re talking about different things.

Being bisexual can be a bit like that sometimes. I’ve dated women before who identify as bi but are much more on the heteroflexible end of the spectrum whereas I’m much more pansexual and inevitably it leads to heartbreak.

That’s the problem with inbetweeners labels, when you fall on a spectrum, it’s hard to know exactly where you and other people fall.

That’s why I like to think of bisexual as an umbrella term to indicate anyone attracted in any way to more than one gender, whether you pan/poly/omnisexual, heteroflexible, homoflexible, or you’re just attracted to who you’re attracted to, which happens to be more than one gender and you don’t really do labels.

Those that like labels can then use other terms to be more specific, as some of the ones I’ve just mentioned and am about to explain. Already you know that I identify as pansexual, which basically means my attraction to someone is not dependent on sex or gender.

I usually just say I’m bi/pansexual or depending on the context I still sometimes just use the word bisexual as it’s a more recognized term.

Polysexual relationship with women
Polysexual relationship with women

Polysexual is the attraction to multiple but not all genders and therefore suggests gender preference, unlike pansexual. Omnisexual is being actively attracted to all genders rather than attracted to someone regardless of gender, like pansexual.

Homoflexible and Heteroflexible is when people have a strong preference for one gender either their own (homoflexible) or the opposite (heteroflexible) but might occasionally make the odd exception and might enjoy kissing, flirting, maybe even sleeping with someone of other genders but probably wouldn’t be in a relationship or fall in love with someone of a different gender to their preferred one.

None of these labels have strict definitions. They can be flexible and open to interpretation based on the people who identify with them. So, there’s a lot of terminology and a lot of labels to define one’s sexuality and describe those of us attracted to more than one gender. And new ones are constantly appearing. If you identify as bisexual in the umbrella sense but have a different label that you use to describe yourself, let me know in the comments what that label is and what it means to you!

For some, having the right label is extremely important, for others, there can be a whole bunch of labels that apply and for others yet, they reject labels as unnecessary and complicated. I’ll talk about why I think that is in this section on the pros and cons of labels. But what’s your preference?

A few months ago I attended a discussion group called bisexuality tea where we drank tea and talked about being bi. It was great! There were about 10 of us there. Some identified strongly with the label bisexual, others preferred pan or polysexual, some like me decided to use both bi and pan or polysexual.

Some were more curious, some more questioning. And others rejected labels. But what we all had in common, was having our sexuality questioned throughout our lives, both by other people and by ourselves. In this section, I wanted to talk about my struggles in coming out to myself.

Most of us in the group didn’t come out until our 20s and 30s both to other people and to ourselves. For me, the hardest part was coming out to myself. When I finally came out to my friends and family, no one was surprised because for years I’d been talking about crushes I had on women, wanting to sleep with other women. But I felt like I couldn’t identify as Bi because they only slept with men and that somehow saying I was bi would make me a fraud or an attention seeker or that I just wasn’t allowed, which of course is ridiculous!

But it’s a sentiment shared by many bi people I know. I guess it’s what we call internalized bi-erasure or bi-phobia. I was 22 when I “officially” came out. I remember calling my best friend from school to tell her that I’d just slept with a woman for the first time. I was really nervous about telling her. I called her up and told her, ‘I’ve got some big news, this might come as a shock but I’ve slept with a woman’.

She replied, “Yeah, you told me this years ago!’ I was surprised and a little taken aback at how blasé she was at my big revelatory moment but as far as she was concerned, wanting to sleep with women and actually sleeping with women was the exact same thing! But for me, it wasn’t that simple.

It wasn’t until I fell in love with a female friend that I started thinking that maybe the label straight didn’t really fit me but even then I felt really uncomfortable using the label bisexual. So for a long time, I just didn’t bother with labels. And if I had to, then I guess the label pansexual felt like the best fit because it was more to do with my attraction to the person and how they made me feel, rather than their gender. And that’s still my preferred label but after a while, it just became easier to use the term bisexual in many contexts.

I’m not sure which exactly came first, using the label or meeting other (bi) people but once I adopted the label, I suddenly felt like I became part of this amazing bisexual community who just really got me and got the whole in-betweenness thing too.

Polysexual Wedding
Polysexual Wedding

From the bisexuality discussion groups to going to lots of queer parties where most people there is bi, it’s been really nice to meet people with shared experiences who get the struggles I’ve faced when it comes to my sexuality. And to be honest, they’re struggles shared by so many.

Even as I feel more confident in my sexuality and the labels I use, it’s still something I question constantly and I think that’s something unique to those of us attracted to more than one gender. It can feel like I constantly have something to prove, to others and myself.

My most recent serious relationship was with a female/male couple, who both also happened to be bi and I’d catch myself kissing one of them and enjoying it so much I started to think maybe I am only attracted to one gender and then a couple of seconds later I’d be kissing the other and be like nope, I’m definitely bi!

This happened time and time again both with them and in other areas of my life. The great thing with dating two bi people was that I could tell them though and they could definitely relate! Thanks to learnfromdoctor for giving me a platform to share my experience with the other ones.

Read Forced Sex – Sexual Violence

Polysexual and Pansexual

Pansexual people are sexually as well as romantically attracted to people of all genders. However, for polysexual people, gender may or may not be a factor. And, while they are attracted to individuals of different genders, they are not attracted to people of all genders.

Polysexual and Bisexual

Bisexuality is a form of polysexuality because it means an individual is attracted to more than one gender. Some people can also confuse the two concepts.

Although bisexual people may or may not be attracted to both cis men and cis women, the term “bisexual” has traditionally been associated with this gender binary. As a result, some people use the word polysexual because it completely disregards gender binaries.

People can also apply to the “bisexuality umbrella,” a concept that covers all orientations that are drawn to more than one gender.

Read Biromantic

Polysexual vs Polyamorous

Polysexual and polyamorous are different.

Polysexual people are those who are sexually attracted to the male and female gender.

On the other hand, polyamorous means a person is sexually or romanticly involved in more than one relationship.

Polyamorous can maintain multiple sexual relationships only with gender but polysexual people are attracted to both gender.

 

Polysexuality Test

There isn’t a specific test only for polysexuality.

A psychiatrist will ask you some questions. More specifically it’s a quiz. Your answers will indicate your sexuality and whether you are polysexual or not.

The quiz may include some pictures, questions, videos.

 

Polysexual Flag

The polysexual flag has triple stripes: pink at the top, reflecting female attraction, green in the center, reflecting non-binary attraction, and blue at the bottom, reflecting male attraction.

Polysexual Flag
Polysexual Flag

Misconception about Polysexual

Polysexual individuals are unable to be loyal to a single partner.

Polysexual individuals hold relationships in the same way as anyone else does. They are no more likely to cheat than anyone else if they are in a monogamous relationship.

Polysexual are hypersexual and/or want to be seen.

Polysexuality has no bearing on a person’s libido. They, like anyone else, have expectations about who they want to have sex with and when they want to have it. When approaching a polysexual person, consent is just as critical as it is for everyone else.

  • Polysexual people are indecisive or experimenting, and they will ultimately choose a hand.
  • Polysexuality is a legitimate identity. It is not an option.

These misconceptions, if left unchecked, may lead to abusive or dismissive conduct.

Polysexual Summery

Polysexuality, also known as polysexuality or polysexuality, is the sexual attraction to many genders, but not necessarily any of them.

A polysexual individual, for example, may be attracted to all genders except men, or he or she may be attracted only to non-binary people, genderfluid people, and male-aligned people.

Polysexuality in general means that one is drawn to more than two genders, but one may be any number of genders ranging from two to all genders except one. Polysexual people may or may not have a preference and may or may not notice a gender gap.

Polysexual couple with polysexual flag
Polysexual couple with polysexual flag

Polysexuality should not be confused with polyamory, the ability to be in several relationships at the same time, nor with being bisexual, omnisexual, or pansexual.

The distinction between polysexual and omnisexual or pansexual is that pansexuals and omnisexual are attracted to all genders, while polysexual are attracted to some but not all.

The distinction between polysexual and bisexual is generally a matter of personal opinion, particularly when people believe that different words convey their personal experience of attraction more accurately.

Polyromantic is the romantic equivalent to polysexual.

 

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